Woman ponders leaving dysfunctional family
-- Trapped
Dear Trapped: If you brought a caregiver into your home for even a few hours a week, your guy's mother would have a chance to adjust to that person. Once she had adjusted, you two could at least slip out for a movie or a bite.
Caregiving is extremely stressful; it is essential that caregivers also take care of themselves. And -- when a relationship is at stake -- you must both take care of the relationship.
You should pose this to your guy: "Things need to change. If they don't change, I'm going to leave. And if I leave, you'll be out a partner and a caregiver. Can you work with me on this?"
Dear Amy: "Worried Dad" described his doctor son-in-law's klutziness.
I am a fellow physician. His problem was obvious to me: Like many of us, he isn't getting enough sleep.
Maybe his sometimes-absent-mindedness is not a result of disease or poor life choices, but a consequence of the 80-hour-plus work weeks many doctors have to put in.
Our job is tough. Please consider more compassionate theories before jumping to conclusions.
-- Dr. K
Dear Dr. K: I don't know how doctors manage, given this punishing schedule. Sleep deprivation could definitely lead to all of the symptoms mentioned.
I also hope that this doctor gets a check-up.
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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)
