Couples' separation leads to rift in the family
Do not press too hard to see these children. They may believe that you will try to act as a go-between with their father, and if they don't want to see him, they won't want to see you.
If your brother and his ex are going through the legal process of divorcing, she may be trying to build a case against him. Don't interfere, but continue to support your brother's efforts to recover and change. Ultimately, this will be best for the children, and if you have to tolerate some distance for now until things settle down and legal matters are decided, you should be patient.
Do your best to stay in touch with the kids via text. Keep things light and conversational. Don't promote their father's interests, but answer any of the children's questions truthfully (if they ask).
Dear Amy: I've been dating my boyfriend for five years. His late wife died more than 10 years ago. He is a kind and gentle man. We love one another.
I have a concern about his children; a daughter, 18, and a son, 22.
They don't like me. They never want to spend any time with "us," as a couple.
They never acknowledge me, unless their father tells them to say hello.
When I come into the living room, they go to their bedrooms.
They acknowledge others, but exclude me. When his daughter graduated from high school, I was asked not to attend her graduation.
Recently, they had family from out of town visit. This included members of their mother's family.
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