Dog bite seems to hurt the whole family
Many wonderful people are terrible bets when it comes to money, but they have other qualities that make them worth staying close to. Is this friendship worth $25? This is a question you both need to answer.
You might feel better if you can find it in yourself to proactively forgive this person for revealing their failing to you. Once you finally forgive, you may find that the money magically appears -- either that or it simply won't matter anymore. This is the universe's way of rewarding forgiveness.
Don't loan again, however. That would just be buying trouble.
Dear Amy: Regarding the well-meaning "Big Sister" ("No Kid Experience") who wondered how to mentor her "little's" offensive media consumption: I grew up in public housing, at times hung with the wrong crowd, experienced violence at my front door (dad was a police officer killed in the line of duty when I was 12) and drank excessively.
Throughout all of this I had an affluent Big Brother from the Big Brother Association who did not try to change my entire world. Had he tried, I would have pushed back and dropped him.
What he did was show me the countryside, took me to museums and movies and introduced me to a way of life that was a respite from my environment.
As an adult, I wondered how I survived that environment, but realized that, along with some other resiliency factors, having Fred in my life as my Big Brother was a significant contributor.
Had I told him about all that was going on around me, he probably would have been overwhelmed. By the same token, had he forced change on me, I would have resented his efforts.
To this day he remains a friend, attends family functions and my wife and I have dinner with him several times throughout the year.
I hope the Big Sister does not ruin what she cannot fix. Go slow, Big Sister, go slow.
-- Gary F. McNabb, RN, MSN
Dear Gary: Perfect. Thank you for your wisdom.
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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)
