Women wonder whether to call out male friends for sexism
If there were any chance that someone other than him would get their greasy mitts on these letters, would you continue?
This guy doesn't even know that I love him!
Should I let him go? Try to move on? There are a couple of other cuties out there, but this guy is special.
What do you think?
-- Caller No. 9
Dear Caller No. 9: You write like you're living in a romantic comedy with this (typical) plot: Your crush will find one of your letters at the precisely perfect time, rush to your side and declare that it's you -- it's always been you, of course! And it's raining. (And he's interrupted a wedding to run through the rain, for some undefined reason.)
If life followed movie plots, no one would actually get married because of all the objections raised at the church, every "nice girl" would be a florist or a bookshop owner and we'd all live in giant apartments. But real life doesn't work like it does in the movies.
There's nothing wrong with writing letters to a person that you like, but if you really do want to be with him, then you will have to tell him, not be sneaky or wait around for him to take a hint. Obsessing in the background is ever-so-slightly creepy. This is complicated by the fact that your roommate is his ex; you will have to decide if you can risk these relationships.
Equally important: if you don't want your roommate to see the letters that you are writing to her ex-boyfriend, then don't leave them somewhere where she can find them.
Dear Amy: "Pregnant, But Still Able" insisted on sitting on the floor at her office, rather than accept a chair offered by a male colleague. Thank you for pointing out that it is rude to refuse a kindness.
I actually agree with you -- for once!
-- Faithful Reader
Dear Reader: We're at a tough point, culturally, where polite men are being slammed for their politeness. This, too, shall pass.
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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)
