Life Advice

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Health & Spirit

Cat ownership causes couple's concerns

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

-- Always a Cat Lady

Dear Cat Lady: According to you, you have not provided this cat with the home she deserves to have. You are gone for 12 hours a day, and have not successfully dealt with the cat's extreme anxiety. These unfortunate conditions are reason enough to find a different home for this cat.

If your fiance is allergic, I don't see how you could place the blame so squarely on him for not wanting to live with a very high-maintenance, unhappy, dander-producing animal. His allergy is not his fault.

Do your fiance's fish give you hives, get into everything or yowl whenever they are alone? If so, then the cat and the fish are somewhat equivalent. Otherwise, not so much.

Your fiance should be patient, understanding and kind toward you, and should help you to find a better home for your cat.

If your motivation to get rid of these fish is to force your fiance to give up his pets because you are giving up yours, then you might not be ready for marriage.

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Marriage is about respectful compromise. Compromise doesn't mean demanding that your partner must lose if you are losing.

You should not have the last (or only) say when choosing your next pet with your partner. You two should decide together, and should share the responsibility of animal stewardship as evenly as you can.

Dear Amy: You asked readers what they call a gift that the gift-giver likes but the recipient does not want, need or like.

In my family this kind of gift is known as a "sidesaddle." An example might be if a father gives his infant daughter a big-screen television, or a wife gives her husband a juicer that she wants.

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