Wife's presence in the dojo leads to trouble at home
Would she welcome your occasional presence at the dojo, where your assistance might lessen her volunteer burden?
These are the questions you two should tackle in marriage counseling. Her private, engrossing relationship has interfered with your marriage for years now, and you should bravely try to get to the bottom of it. If she won't attend counseling with you, you should go on your own.
Dear Amy: I was recently included in a group party where you all go to a shop, pay a fee to paint a select portrait and bring your own beverage of choice. It's a new trendy thing, and it is quite fun.
The shop provides each group with a tub of ice where guests can cool their beverages.
During the evening, a complete stranger from a different group was "browsing" the beverage tubs and asked if she could try a glass of the wine I brought.
I responded, "Well, that depends. What do you have to trade?"
She curled her lip, shook her head and rolled her eyes. I really didn't give it much more thought, but later that night one of my friends said that I was rude.
The BYOB part is not in fine print -- it's an important part of the whole concept.
I think that unless her intention was to offer a glass of what she brought in exchange, she was rude for asking in the first place.
What do you think?