Life Advice


Health & Spirit

Parent is tired of explaining gender transitioning

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: I have two wonderful kids. They are both in the military. One is active, and the other is a veteran on disability, who is also transgender.

When people ask, "How are your girls?" I usually say, "Well, one is now a male," or I'll start by saying, "One of my kids suffered his whole life as a female," and then explain that he finally had surgery and is now very happy as a male transgender.

Amy, some people grasp the idea and show support. Others just stare and don't say much. One woman was so disoriented that she kept repeating, "She is now a male...?!"

I was so taken aback by her reaction that I facetiously said, "And my other daughter was born a chimpanzee!" Then I walked away.

What is the best way to answer people that I haven't seen for a while when they reasonably ask, "How are the girls?"

I won't just say, "Oh, they are fine," because that will be hiding the fact that one is now a male and I am very supportive of him.


I am very proud of both of them.

-- Dad of a Transgender

Dear Dad: I can imagine how exhausting it might be to feel like you are always having to educate and reorient people.

But, "Oh, they're fine" is not a cop-out; it is your right to respond this way if you don't feel like explaining gender transitioning in the aisle of the grocery story. (And -- it happens to be true; they are fine.)


swipe to next page


blog comments powered by Disqus

Social Connections


Take It From The Tinkersons Hi and Lois Andy Marlette Aunty Acid Loose Parts Red and Rover