Mother-in-law refuses day care idea
Dear Expecting: How's this for an opener? "Actually, one of your grandchildren -- ours -- WILL be going to day care."
Don't bother quoting studies and explaining your point of view. Just state your position and move along. If she fumes and argues, you and your husband should respond with a version of, "That's OK. We understand that you disagree, but this is the choice we're making."
Obviously, you should not go out of your way to discuss any of this with your mother-in-law.
Some of this comes down to how afraid you are of this outspoken, bossy, but well-meaning person. I suggest you find ways to be much less afraid, much more understanding, and determinedly calm in your reactions. Your mother-in-law probably did a good job in raising her children (I wonder what outside forces she had to fend off when she was a young mother). She made her own choices as a parent, and you must stand up for your choices.
Assume that she will love your child fiercely and that she may judge you harshly. Embrace the first, and ignore the latter.
Dear Amy: My sister and I decided to live at home while attending university. We see each other daily.
She's driving me crazy! We both have liberal views, and are both lesbians. The problem is she constantly talks about social justice issues every day -- and most days they are the only things she will talk about. I mostly agree with her views, but it becomes repetitive and depressing.
I do not want to debate and hear about every horrendous news article she reads. I don't want to hear about the latest assault case, or the gay person beaten up by their family. Maybe it sounds bad of me, but it is exhausting and distressing to constantly have these conversations with her.
I tell her to stop, but she gets angry or emotional and says I don't care about the suffering in the world. Lately I have started to snap at her when she brings up social justice issues.
How can I get her to stop constantly talking about these things with me?
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