Should mom tell about teen's risky business?
Your daughter told you this for a reason. You should contact your friend and neutrally report what your daughter told you. Tell her, "I'm telling you this because I would want to know." Don't pile on with judgment or any specific reaction, and leave it to this other parent to decide what to do about it, if anything.
The daughters' friendship, which is not close now, will likely end. I hope that you and this other mother can face this challenge to your own relationship with maturity.
Dear Amy: I'm a 30-year-old doctor. I've been dating a woman for two weeks, though I've known her for a couple of months. She is funny, sexy, geeky, artistic, brilliant, and completely unlike other women I've dated (other doctors of similar social standing, etc.).
She tells me I make her feel safe -- significant because she is a rape survivor and is getting treatment for an anxiety disorder (not from me). She makes me want to drink less after a stressful workday.
I am going to marry this woman. My question: Is it too soon to propose?
-- Already Committed
Dear Already Committed: Yes, it is too soon to propose marriage. You may have already decided that this is your future wife, but given your girlfriend's substantial challenges in recovery, you should both proceed carefully, tenderly, and enjoy every moment of your courtship.
Your comment about drinking less after a stressful workday implies that your drinking is an issue for you, and that this relationship is something of a lifeboat. I believe that all of us who fall deeply in love find that our love object makes us want to be a better, healthier person. This is a grand opportunity for some deep change in your life, and I hope you will embrace not only this woman, but also the positive changes this relationship inspires.
Dear Amy: "Invaded" described in-laws who baby-sat for their daughter, but didn't respect the parents' parental choices and boundaries.
My husbands' parents were equally oblivious in terms of baby-sitting. We told them "no wheat" (our son has a gluten allergy) and they replied "that's a you problem, we'll feed him what we want," and that meant junk foods.
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