Mother worries excessively and wonders how to let go
Dear Amy: I have recently become engaged. I am close to my fiance's sisters. One of his sisters is six months younger than me, and we have always gotten along.
Recently, she has been really bitter and selfish. She freaks out if any of us don't drop everything to help her. She threatens to commit suicide and storms out.
My fiance and I have helped her countless times, whether it be with her car, or her two sons, who are 1 and 2.
I want to reconcile with her, but she won't apologize to anyone, and thinks she has done nothing wrong.
We think she might be bipolar, but again don't know how to bring this up without upsetting her.
What should I do to help her, and fix her relationship with us?
-- Scared for Her
Dear Scared: Any mom of young children who threatens suicide should be considered at high risk. Your fiance's sister might be suffering from postpartum depression, or high stress. Her family should urge her to get a medical screening because of her alarming behavior. Compassion is called for. You don't need to give in to her manipulations, but you should express your concern about her well-being. Don't insist on an apology, just yet.
Dear Amy: The letter from "No Win" concerned an elderly couple where the wife announced that she wanted to move to be near her family.
I think you missed the real problem. This isn't about equity or fairness. This woman has effectively said: "There's nothing for me here. I'm leaving and I don't care what you do." When a spouse says that, it's game over.
I spent more than 30 years as a divorce lawyer. I heard that sort of statement many times.
-- Experienced
Dear Experienced: I fear you may be right.
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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Amy Dickinson, c/o Tribune Content Agency, LLC., 16650 Westgrove Dr., Suite 175, Addison, TX 75001. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)
