One-night stand brings on ethical dilemma
-- Torn
Dear Torn: You are 20 years old. First of all, if (illegal) drinking leads to such regrettable behavior, then you shouldn't do it.
Ask yourself: If your boyfriend did the exact same thing that you did during your separation (a one-night stand), would you want to know about it? Does this episode speak to some sort of deep-seated problem or need that you have, or was it a stupid mistake made by a young person that will never be repeated?
If it is the former, you should realize that you are not quite ready to be in a long-term, exclusive and committed relationship. If it was the latter, then you should keep this to yourself.
This might be one of those times when you should carry your own guilt privately rather than relieve it by unloading onto your boyfriend and burdening him with the dilemma of what to do about your behavior. Carrying this burden and choosing to wise-up and behave differently is the consequence of this episode.
If you find that your guilt over this continues to interfere with your relationship, then you should tell your boyfriend. Do not expect him to appreciate your choice, applaud your unburdening or forgive you right away.
One risk of having an outside sexual experience (even a one-night stand), is contracting an STD. You should visit your doctor or nearest Planned Parenthood clinic to be tested.
Dear Amy: My old college friend and former roommate is pregnant with her fourth child. We are not as close as we once were, but still keep in regular contact.
A family member of hers contacted me recently to ask if I would be willing to host a baby shower in her honor. My friend had difficulty getting pregnant this time around and so I am very happy for her blessing.
Her family lives out of town. Amy, I have co-hosted multiple parties and events for her and her family over the years (honoring engagements, weddings, graduations, etc.) and have never once had the favor returned. I did not even receive a congratulatory note when my own daughter was born, and invitations I extend to attend celebrations in my life get rejected.
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