Couple at odds over homeless mother
It might help both of you if you could play a more active role, so you two communicate openly and calmly about his mother and make decisions as a team. A social worker could help you to establish realistic boundaries and perhaps set her up with services. You should both attend Al-Anon meetings (www.al-anon.alateen.org).
Dear Amy: When I get a notification that it's someone's birthday on social media, I normally disregard it and don't post on their timeline wishing them happy birthday. Mainly, this is because I don't feel that it's genuine and it's more of a social norm than a sincere gesture.
However, if it's someone close, I'll send them a personal message, call them or mention it if I see them in person.
I understand that social media is the king of staying in contact and a lot of people expect it or may find it rude to be ignored, but should I feel bad if I don't?
-- Not So Social
Dear Not So Social: No -- you should not feel bad if you don't post a happy birthday message. Social media is there to help people to connect in the ways that they want to connect. You get to be in charge of how, when or if you want to be in touch. The birthday notifications that pop up can be a nice prompt to get in touch with someone, but you should not feel compelled or pressured to celebrate on the social media platform.
Dear Amy: "Shocked on the West Coast" reported on a generous gesture she made regularly by bringing cookies to a musical ensemble she was a part of.
Amy, thank you for making a point to praise all of the generous bakers out there. I have a colleague who brings in a home-baked treat to the office every week. It is a small thing, but it makes a lot of people happy.
-- Grateful
Dear Grateful: I hope you'll clip this and post it near the office snack table.
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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Amy Dickinson, c/o Tribune Content Agency, LLC., 16650 Westgrove Dr., Suite 175, Addison, TX 75001. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)
