Fykiaphobia: Fear of seaweed
Never Say Diet
The Major League Eating record for date nut bread sandwiches with cream cheese is 29.5 in 8 minutes, held by Patrick Bertoletti. The event was sponsored by (coffee maker?) Chock full o'Nuts, which might also describe the contestants and event.
A man goes in for a chest X-ray.
Doctor: "I've got your film. It shows you have pimples on your left ventricle."
Man: "Omigod. What does that mean?"
Doctor: "You're still a teenager at heart."
"I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know why those doctors were wearing masks."