Clarification of Hiring Lingo
Published in Jokes
Competitive Salary - We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
Join Our Fast-Paced Company - We have no time to train you.
Casual Work Atmosphere - We don't pay you enough to expect that you will dress up.
Must Be Deadline Oriented - You will be six months behind schedule on your first day.
Some Overtime Required - Some time each night and some time each weekend.
Duties Will Vary - Anyone in the office can boss you around.
Must Have An Eye For Detail - We have no quality control.
Career-Minded - Female applicants must be childless (and stay that way).
Apply In Person - If you're fat, old, or ugly, you will be told the position has been filled.
No Phone Calls Please - We already have someone for the job, our call for resumes is just a legal formality.
Seeking Candidates With A Wide Variety of Experience - You will need it to replace three people who have just left.
Problem Solving Skills A Must - You are walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
Requires Team Leadership Skills - You will have the responsibilities of a manager; without the pay or respect.
Good Communication Skills - Management communicates; you listen, figure out what they want, and do it.
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