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"Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian." --Dennis Wholey

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"What the world needs is more geniuses with humility, there are so few of us left." --Oscar Levant

 

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Would you be more content with six million dollars or six children? Six children, certainly. Because a man with six million dollars will always want more.


 

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Military Time

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My wife never quite got the hang of the 24-hour military clock. One day she called the orderly room to speak with me. The person who answered told her to call me at the extension in the band rehearsal hall.

"He can be ...Read More

Looks bad on resume cover letters

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1. I'm really keen to work for you, I hear the drugs are good.

2. I regret that I have no references. Unfortunately, every company I have worked for has since closed down.

3. I'll kill myself if I don't get a job.

4. I ...Read More

Tax Loophole

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How do you know you've met a good tax accountant?

He has a loophole named after him.

Madhouse

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Psychiatrist to his nurse: "Just say we're very busy. Don't keep saying 'It's a madhouse.'"

Cop and Light Bulbs

Jokes /

How many cops does it take to change light bulb?

- Just one, but he is never around when you need him.

- Only one, but he has to see an officer do it first.

- Three, one to do it, one to direct traffic and one to say "...Read More

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