While she was flying down the road, a woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait, a classic speed trap.
The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, ‘What’s your hurry?’
To which she replied, ‘I’m late for work.’
‘Oh yeah,’ said the cop, ‘what do you do?’
‘I’m a rectum stretcher,’ she responded.
Continued below...
 
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Mother: Why did you just swallow the money I gave you?
Son: Well you did say it was my lunch money!
What's a mushroom?
The place they store the school food!
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The man said, "Cure it? I want to prolong it."
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