Mother: Why did you just swallow the money I gave you?
Son: Well you did say it was my lunch money!
What's a mushroom?
The place they store the school food!
Teacher: I said to draw a cow eating some grass but you've only drawn the cow?
Pupil: Yes, the cow ate all the grass!
My teacher reminds me of history
She's always repeating herself!
Teacher: Did your parents help you with these homework problems?
Pupil: No I got them all wrong by myself!
 
A man tells his doctor that his wife has laryngitis. The doctor said there was nothing he could do to cure it.
The man said, "Cure it? I want to prolong it."
Campaigns have finally arrived in the 21st century. They can produce bull**** at the same rate as actual bulls!
Lewis Black
A college student with a young child was pleased when her daughter became eligible to attend the day care center at the University. The director of the day care gave the mother a tour of the facilities. To assure herself ...Read More
-- Accelerates at a phenomenal rate.
-- Has a much shorter braking distance than the private car.
-- Can take speed humps at twice the speed of private cars.
-- The battery, radiator water, oil and tires never have to ...Read More
One of my daughter's wedding presents was a toaster oven. Soon after the honeymoon, she and her husband tried it out. Almost immediately, smoke billowed out of the toaster. "Get the owner's manual!" her husband shouted. ...Read More
In the doctors office two patients are talking.
"You know, I had an appendectomy last month and the doctor left a sponge in me by mistake."
"A sponge!" exclaims the other. "Does it hurt much?"
"No...no pain at all,...Read More
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