Mother: Why did you just swallow the money I gave you?
Son: Well you did say it was my lunch money!

What's a mushroom?
The place they store the school food!

Teacher: I said to draw a cow eating some grass but ...Read More

A man tells his doctor that his wife has laryngitis. The doctor said there was nothing he could do to cure it.

The man said, "Cure it? I want to prolong it."

Teacher: Vincent, not to be presumptuous, but your short story is truly fantastic. Did you really write it?

Vincent: Yes, I wrote, while my mother dictated..

A father was playing with his daughter when the little one said: "Dad, I read in school that animals get a new fur coat every winter."

"Quiet!" retorted the father. "Your mother is in the next room!"

One night a teenage girl brought her new boyfriend home to meet her parents, and they were appalled by his appearance: leather jacket, motorcycle boots, tattoos and pierced nose.

Later, the parents pulled their daughter ...Read More

NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars. Only one could go, and he couldn't return to Earth.

The first applicant, an engineer, was asked how much he wanted to be paid for going. "A million dollars," he...Read More