Pirate Blackbeard's ship license had expired so he went into the shipping license office and got a new one, but on the new one he needed an updated photo of himself.

So, Pirate Blackbeard went into the photographer's room...Read More

1. Pays better than fast food, though the hours aren't as good.

2. Fashionable shoes & sexy white uniforms.

3. Needles: It's better to give than to receive.

4. Reassure your patients that all bleeding stops eventually. ...Read More

- Do you think sheep know when you're pulling the wool over their eyes?
- Does the person who inventories sheep often fall asleep on the job?
- If a pig is sold to the pawn shop is it then called a ham-hock?<...Read More

I do not think -- therefore I am not.

Here is the illustration of this principle:

One evening Rene Descartes went to relax at a local tavern. The tender approached and said, "Ah, good evening Monsieur Descartes! Shall I ...Read More

Why don't elephants like playing cards in the jungle?
Because of all the cheetahs!

What do you call a elephant that never washes?
A smellyphant!

Teacher: "Where would you find an elephant?"
Pupil:"You ...Read More

Jimmy shows the audience real quotes and gives them a chance to decide who said it.