Thanks A Lot, Part II

on May 12, 2026

Published in Jokes

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I want to thank all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me your stinking chain letters over the past years. Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy. Because of your concern........

I no longer eat at KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer have any sneakers -- but that will change once I receive my free replacement pair from Nike.

I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me.

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.

I no longer use my cell phone because I could spontaneously combust at a gas station while refueling my car.

Yes, I want to thank all of you soooooooo much for looking out for me! I will now return the favor.

If you DON'T send this e-mail to at least 5,000 people in the next 60 seconds, a large bird will poop on your head at 5:00 PM tomorrow afternoon. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of a friend of a friend of a...etc...

(Editor's Note: This last statement is sarcasm -- not to be taken seriously. In other words, please don't send an e-mail to 5,000 people and claim ArcaMax Publishing told you to do it....Thanks!)