- Your cow insists on wearing a little A-1 sauce behind each ear as cologne.

- She refuses to let you milk her, saying "Not on the first date."

- Your cow takes up painting and cuts off one of its ears.

- Your cow gets ...Read More

If you love something, set it free.

If it comes back, it was and always will be yours.

If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with.

If it just sits in your living room and messes up your stuff, eats your food,...Read More

A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service,

"And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"

One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."

Isn't it strange that a group of very intelligent individuals combined into a political party become collectively stupid?

I may not agree with what you have to say, but I shall defend to the death your right to shut up.

...Read More

Sometimes I feel so inept. Like when there's a baseball player who's worth $250 million, and I can't remember his or her name.

Visa is everywhere you want to be, except out of debt.

It's better to be poor than to be rich...Read More

... continued from above

ON THE ROLE OF GOOD LOOKS IN LOVE:

"If you want to be loved by somebody who isn't already in your family, it doesn't hurt to be beautiful." (Jeanne, 8)

"It isn't always just how you look. Look ...Read More