ArcaMax

Are you an innie or an outie?

If you watch "Severance," you'll definitely know.

The hit TV show is about people who undergo brain surgery to separate their lives into two parts -- an innie, who only knows what happens at work and an outie, who has no idea what happens at work.

That's right.

When Mark, Helly R. and the rest of the innie gang arrive at work in the morning, they leave all memories of their outie lives at the elevator door. And when they return to that elevator at the end of the workday, what happened during those innie hours vanishes completely from their outie brains.

Cruel and unusual punishment? To me, it sounds like heaven.

It is difficult to understand why anyone would want to bring what happens at work into what happens in their lives when not at work. Yet a report in "The Harvard Business Review" tackles this very phenomenon with a scientific study titled "Research: The Best Ways to Connect with Colleagues Outside of Work." The article delves into the "tricky endeavor" of connecting with colleagues when workday is over, an effort the researchers insist can "produce many benefits -- from career advancement to emotional support."

If you want the benefits of "crossing work and non-work boundaries," but don't want the queasy tummy that can go with it, I have the strategic Dramamine that can help. One thing is for sure: we won't be adopting the mechanism the researchers used in their study of corporate mingling -- tracking both top executives and lowly worker bees connecting on their Peloton bikes.

To the researchers, the Peloton experience is "a virtual exercise platform," which creates "a non-work setting that helps colleagues bond." I'm not so sure. It's bad enough that your colleagues observe your blunders when in the office. You certainly don't want to expose your poor performance outside the office. (Think about it -- if management sees you left behind during a Hip Hop Pilates workout, they're not going to have any compunctions about leaving you behind when it's time to announce promotions.)

According to the researchers, good boundary-blurring interactions must be flexible, legitimate, virtuous and playful. Here are four that meet all these requirements -- kind of.

No. 1: Exercise Together

Just because you won't peddle a Peloton doesn't mean you can't invite co-workers to join you in a workout of your choice.

The trick here is to pick an exercise program in which you can shine. When your colleagues see your balletic skills on a Pilates Reformer, they will consider you a star performer in the office. Of course, if your manager is involved, you'll want to choose an exercise in which you are a major flop. Unless you want to scare your manager, you want to be the person whose glute bridge collapses and who drops the kettlebell on your toe. Once your boss sees that you are absolutely no threat in the gym, they will assume you will be just as incompetent in the office and promotions are sure to follow.

No. 2: Cook Together

Eating together is a traditional way to mingle outside the office. A better venue for out-of-the-office socializing is to invite everyone to cook together. Choose a menu that shows you are a bold, creative thinker. Good dishes to prepare together are Rocky Mountain Oysters, Salmon Shortcake, Meatloaf Jell-O and Candied Eels. Yum!

No. 3: Craft Together

If you've been hiding your passion for decoupage and macrame, invite your co-workers together for a crafting day in which you bond by creating wonderful objects of self-expression, like a 3D portrait of your manager using pistachio nut shells. Or welcome your manager into your home for a high-level session of needle felting. They'll come away with a fuzzy bunny they can cuddle when you take their job.

No. 4: Bring It Home

With everyone back at the office now, welcoming your co-workers into your home is an effective method for connecting. Just don't clean up! If your place is a toxic mess, it will show that you are 100% focused on the office (Pro Tip: If you want snoopy guests to see your willingness to think out of the box, leave your furry handcuffs and latex catsuit on the bed.)

Make the most of mingle time and your co-workers will not only exclude you from their own out-of-the-office activities, but they'll also avoid you in the office.

Now that's the kind of win-win both your innie and your outie will love.

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Bob Goldman was an advertising executive at a Fortune 500 company. He offers a virtual shoulder to cry on at info@creators.com. To find out more about Bob Goldman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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