Business

/

ArcaMax

Want a Great New Job? Ask Your Mother.

Bob Goldman on

Or your father. Or, maybe, both.

Using your parents to land a new job may seem like a cheat, but it's really not, as nepo-babies Sophia Coppola, Dakota Johnson, Deacon Phillippe and West Duchovny could tell you. While Hollywood babies may be the most visible nepos, the same dynamic happens in every profession. Or so I learned from a recent article by career coach Chris Westfall for Forbes.

"A new survey of job seekers found that 70% of Gen Z asked their parents to help them find a job," the reporter reported. "About 10% said their parents completed the HR screening call for them, while 30% said their parent went into the interview with them, with about two-thirds going as far as speaking with the hiring manager."

It must be pointed out that the youngest Gen Z'ers are turning 12 this year and older GenZ'ers "still are in their late to mid-teens, where parents may be taking their children to high-school or summer jobs."

Does this mean you shouldn't take advantage of your parents in your job search? No way! Whether the gig is stocking shelves at the Piggly Wiggly or stacking code at Google, you have as much right to leverage your parents as Zoe Kravitz or Lily Rose Depp.

After all, once hired, it's you who will do the job and collect the paycheck, less whatever fee Mom and Dad charge for all those years of room and board and therapy.

You know they want to help. Here's how to use your parents to nab that great new job.

No. 1: 100% objective references

Sure, there are people you worked for and worked with who can attest to your business skills, but who can better testify that you wash behind your ears and hardly ever leave dirty clothes scattered around your bedroom? These are important life skills and show character, which is a lot more important to an employer than a knowledge of Excel or the ability to program in Python.

In addition to providing a narrative about your triumphs in the sandbox in kindergarten, your parents will be able to provide actual photographic proof of important milestones in your career development. Even the most coldhearted hiring manager will melt over that video of 3-month-old you, naked on a bearskin rug, trying to eat paperclips.

No. 2: Questions that must be asked

It's natural to be shy when it comes to confronting a hiring manager with important questions about a potential job. Your parents won't be shy; you can count on it. They will insist on asking whether your potential employer will take care of their precious angel. They'll want assurances that healthy snacks will be available and you'll eat balanced meals in the company cafeteria.

 

Importantly, they'll make sure the company's health insurance covers treatment for mono and hair lice.

No. 3: Mean kids

Having your parents with you in the interview will allow them to make sure you aren't working with mean kids, who will make fun of you. Trust your parents to fill in the hiring manager on your acne outbreaks, your bouts of diarrhea and your fear of broccoli. Parents will also ensure that the company lets you bring Mr. Teddy to the office and allows you to roll out your Paw Patrol sleeping bag at naptime.

No. 4: Promotions

While you may be interviewing for a high-level management position, letting your parents handle the heavy lifting in the interview process will make clear that you plan to rise up in the company. Your mother and father will describe all your successes, such as your out-of-the-box thinking in preschool, when you made an elephant out of Silly Putty and then ate it.

No. 5: Home for the holidays

Before accepting any job offer, your parents will make sure you have enough vacation time to come home for the holidays. Also, there will be no weekend work, because your parents want to see you at least three times a month. (You can use the 4th weekend to visit Grandma Nancy, who also wants to see you, despite that unfortunate incident with her pet parakeet, Sparkles, and the vacuum cleaner.)

By turning over the interview process to your parents, your chances of getting hired increase dramatically. Of course, there will be the parents of other candidates involved, so expect some nasty fights in the waiting room. If your parents won't behave, it's an excellent opportunity to demonstrate your management abilities.

Make them stand in the corner.

========

Bob Goldman was an advertising executive at a Fortune 500 company. He offers a virtual shoulder to cry on at bob@bgplanning.com. To find out more about Bob Goldman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.


Copyright 2024 Creators Syndicate, Inc.


 

Comics

Dave Whamond Clay Bennett Tom Stiglich Chip Bok Eric Allie David Fitzsimmons