Where Eagles Dare
We make cartoons and Christmas cards about animals.
"Happy Bear-thday to ewe!" the cartoon bear says, hugging a happy, cuddly sheep. They're friends. It's your birthday.
There are no baby-eating eagles on birthday cards, and no Richies either.
What are you gonna put on a birthday card, a picture of Richie in his saggy pants muttering, "I got Percocets. Wanna party on your birthday?"
Penguins mate for life. Richie doesn't. Once you wade into the dynamics of real animal and human life, you long for the bear and the sheep on the birthday card.
A journalist friend of mine alerted me to the eagle story, and she pointed out that, beneath the story, a clever genius had commented, "Biden's America!"
That is probably sadder than either the eagle story or Richie's life. Face it, the eagle isn't likely to do that again, and Richie may make it all the way through rehab this time, get his GED and find a job on a construction crew. Happens all the time.
The man or woman who chooses to write "Biden's America!" beneath a story about animal behavior is not going to get any better, and may in time storm a public building. That person is the eagle who knows better. He's Richie with a mind un-fogged by drugs. He or she is an American who doesn't believe in birthday cards anymore, or at the very least wants every birthday card to feature a picture of a bloody, aborted fetus and a triumphant American flag.
Richie, the bloody-beaked eagle and the commentor are the rebus of America in a time of Percocet and patriotism.
To find out more about Marc Dion, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit www.creators.com. Dion's latest book, a collection of his best columns, is called "Mean Old Liberal." It is available in paperback from Amazon.com and for Nook, Kindle, and iBooks.
