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How tall Is the President?

Marc Munroe Dion on

I can remember my parents, both good Catholics, discussing the faith of John F. Kennedy, the first Catholic to be elected president. It was a big issue. A lot of ignorant bigots thought Kennedy would get elected and BOOM! the pope would be living in the White House.

Kennedy never denied it, either, though he could have.

"I'm not Catholic," he could have said. "Sure, there are pictures of me coming out of a Catholic church, but I just dropped in to use the restroom. Turned out it was the confessional. What a mess!"

That kind of joke proves the candidate is not a slave to political correctness. In fact, saying almost any kind of vile, stupid thing shows you're not a slave to political correctness, because vile and stupid is how "real people" talk, or at least it's how real stupid people talk, and stupid is the new patriotic.

For Trump, and for me, the real question is not how tall you are, but how tall you want to say you are. I want to say I'm 6 feet tall.

I figure it was a doctor who told me I was 5 feet 11 and some pocket change, so all I really have to do is find a doctor who'll tell me I'm 6 feet tall.

Shouldn't be hard. Sure, doctors are hard to bribe, but pharmaceutical companies do it all the time, so maybe I've got a shot.

--Sponsored Video--

Or maybe I can convince the doc into revising my height upwards.

"Whatta ya mean, 5 foot 11?" I'll say. "Look at me. I'm 6 feet tall! C'mon doc, write it on the insurance form."

If the doctor agrees to 6 feet, I may try for another inch or six. This time next week, I may be playing for the Chicago Bulls.

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To find out more about Marc Munroe Dion and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit www.creators.com. Dion's latest book, a collection of his columns from just before during and after the 2016 presidential election, is called "The Land of Trumpin," and is available in paperback from Amazon.com and for Nook, Kindle, iBooks and GooglePlay.

 

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