My Pet World: Woman gives good life to community cats, but wishes for more

Dear Cathy,

About three years ago, two black-and-white cats sneaked into my house when a door was open. After all this time, they still are terrified of me. I have three other cats that they get along with, but despite my welcoming them in, giving them all the space they want, providing them with food, fresh water, soft places to sleep, and safety, they still run whenever I appear. The larger of the two is about 30% trusting, though she will not permit any physical contact of any kind. The smaller one is just plain scared and hides under a chair in my room. I assume she comes downstairs to eat during the night.

Both are housebroken and have clipped ears to indicate that TNR (trap-neuter-return) has been performed. Neither one ever goes near a door to "escape." After three years, I hold out no hope that they will ever be socialized, but any comments from you would be welcome.

— Nancy, Queens Village, New York

Dear Nancy,

What an amazing person you are to care for them in a way that lets them know they are safe and allows them to be who they are. My suggestion would be to do exactly what you are doing. Just feed them, talk to them, and let them know you are there if they want any attention. You also could put a pheromone plug-in in the room where the one cat hides under the chair to see if that helps.

But the truth is, they may never socialize to the point where you can touch them. While that can be hard, because you love them and want to pet them, you have already demonstrated extraordinary love and patience for these felines that few in the world could match. The reward for that may just be knowing that you have saved two lives, loved them, and provided them with a forever home. You’re awesome.

Dear Cathy,

If I hear one more person say or write that their pet is "a rescue" or that they "rescued" it, I'm going to need rescuing. I've worked in shelters in two states for almost 20 years. I've seen cats and dogs arrive in horrible condition, receive extensive medical care and loving attention sometimes for months. Hundreds, if not thousands of dollars are often spent on the care. Then, someone pays a small adoption fee, and they say they "rescued" the animal. No, the shelter rescued it; they adopted it. Perfectly admirable in and of itself. But no need to embellish. Let's stop this madness. An adoption is not a rescue.

— Edith, Las Vegas, Nevada

Dear Edith,

I disagree. I have worked for animal shelters for many years, and that “small” adoption fee you mention is part of the income shelters and rescue groups need to pay for that pet’s care, which includes housing, food, medications, surgeries, staff salaries, etc. Without grants, donations, and adoption fees, there would be no organizations or people doing rescue work.

Regarding your concern about adopters using the word “rescue,” the word has taken on a new meaning as awareness for homeless pets has grown. When I started in this field 30 years ago, people visited animal shelters as a second or third choice when looking for a new family member. But today, more people choose animal shelters and rescue groups as their first choice because they are much more aware of the plight of homeless pets and want to be part of the solution.

As a result, there has been a language shift; the word “adoption” has become synonymous with the word “rescue.” People generally don’t say they adopted a pet anymore; they say they rescued one. By using this language, they are communicating in a single word that their newest family member is from an animal shelter or rescue group and not a breeder.

That’s a powerful message and one that pet parents are naturally proud of. They are not only a part of their pet’s rescue story, but THE essential happy ending needed for the final rescue of that pet. So, it’s not a diss to the animal shelter or rescue group to say, “I rescued my dog.” It’s an acknowledgment of the role the pet parent played in this lifesaving work. When you think about it on this level, I hope you can appreciate all the people stepping up to “rescue” pets and give them forever homes. After all, the only thing that matters is that dogs and cats find homes where they are loved.

========

(Cathy M. Rosenthal is a longtime animal advocate, author, columnist and pet expert who has more than 25 years in the animal welfare field. Send your pet questions, stories and tips to cathy@petpundit.com. Please include your name, city, and state. You can follow her @cathymrosenthal.)