From Tamar R. via Yahoo

"Nine years ago I rescued a tiny kitten; I'd gone to the shelter to get a kitten, never dreaming I'd find one in a tiny box, outside the shelter door. We heard something yowling in indignation, so we opened the box and found a kitten that could only be 4 to 5 weeks old. I named her Magic, because she seemingly came from nowhere in that box.

"She's a beautiful silver American shorthair, incredibly smart and incredibly stubborn. After only a week, I showed her some balls, trying to teach her the concept of fetch. Half an hour later she dropped a plastic straw at my feet. I tossed it and she ran and brought it back! We still play fetch each day with straws and Q-tips. I even found balls she approved of, the little ones with glitter on them.

"She definitely thinks I'm her mom, and herein lies one of the issues I have with her. When she's in my lap, she nurses, not just with her paws, but she attempts to suckle from my shirt, right in the wrong spot, and gets my shirt all wet. Also, she licks me until my arm feels sore. I keep telling her to stop but to no avail.

"She's the most stubborn cat I've ever encountered! Not only does the affectionate behavior get out of hand, but when I'm at the computer she insists on getting in my lap. This is something I began when she was a tiny kitten -- I'd let her sleep in my lap or on my office chair. But she's not a baby anymore, and she never just sleeps, she's licking, rubbing, kneading, and I can't get my work done. If I put her out and close the door, she throws a fit! She bumps and claws at the door, yowls and just won't quit. How can I get her to stop these behaviors?"

It sounds as if you have a wonderful relationship with a very special cat. However, you're going to have to gird yourself and harden your heart more than a little bit if you're ever going to break her of these bad habits that you find so distressing. The only equipment you're going to need is a little squirt bottle of water.

What you need to do is very simple. Every time Magic gets in your lap and starts to engage in her overly-affectionate activities, push her off of you. If she insists on coming back and starts up again, give her a little squirt with the water bottle. It's important that you be consistent. If she's as smart as you say, she'll quickly learn that she's welcome to all the snuggles she can get, but the nursing behavior has got to go.

Do something similar when she gets in your lap, and put her out of the room and shut the door. If she's persistently scratching and yowling, open the door and give her a squirt. Eventually, she'll learn that a shut door means "Leave mommy alone!"

I've had people tell me to tack up some aluminum foil or other feline-unfriendly material to keep them away from the door. But I've had much better experiences with the squirt bottle. With my cats, it's never taken more than one or two squirts before they've learned their lesson. Hopefully, your experience will be similar!

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Cat fancier Rob "Power of the Meow" Stanson has been an observer and studied cats for over twenty years. Visit him at "The Cat's Meow" where you can view the archives or ask him your own question which he will answer in a future column!