The 2026 Infiniti QX80 Autograph is not a car. It’s actually large enough to be a new U.S. Territory.

Infiniti, Nissan’s attempt to be Lexus, which is Toyota’s attempt to be Mercedes-Benz, which is Germany’s attempt to prove they won the peace, has taken its biggest, boldest SUV and stapled the word Autograph on it. Which is fitting, because those buying one are most likely celebrity divorce attorneys, professional athletes, hedge fund managers or that unique species of real-estate agent that breeds exclusively in Florida.

If you have to ask how much, well, you know the old saying. But since you asked, it’s $112,125 to start, plus a $2,190 destination charge. That’s enough to buy a condominium, albeit a small one, in some parts of the country. Of course, if the QX80 Autograph had a bathroom, you’d be able to rent it out in Manhattan. And, with 10 inches of ground clearance, you wouldn’t have any concerns about flooding.

But that means you don’t step into it. Instead, the flush door handles pop out to greet you as the running boards deploy like an automated welcome mat, allowing you to ascend into the QX80 Autograph like a Himalayan base camp. The doors shut with authority and you suddenly find yourself 10 feet off the ground, staring down at traffic like an Ottoman sultan inspecting his troops. It’s only then that you realize that there’s enough leather in the cabin to reupholster the British House of Lords. The second-row captain’s chairs would look good in a furniture showroom, and the third row is actually habitable by people larger than children. Both rows fold down at the touch of a button, for those indulgent trips to Costco.

Once ensconced, you’ll find yourself facing a lavishly trimmed instrument panel that features matte-finished wood with thin inlaid strips of brightwork. It’s an extravagant touch, one that enhances the specialness of the cabin’s design. You’ll gaze upon a 14.3-inch digital instrument cluster and an infotainment touchscreen of equal, which includes wireless Apple CarPlay, Amazon Alexa and a Klipsch Reference Premiere 24-speaker audio system. And to ensure that all passengers stay connected, there are eight USB-C ports throughout the cabin, as well as a front row wireless charger.

But the QX80’s infotainment user interface uses a modern skin to hide its ancient, unattractive and unintuitive underlying software. It ruins the cabin ambiance and desperately needs to be replaced, as its design seems older than most millennials. The 9-inch touchscreen below it is functional, controlling the climate and other functions, including drive modes. But its design also lacks elegance and eloquence, and seems to have been designed by a different committee.

Power? Oh, yes. Infiniti has wedged in a 450-horsepower 3.5-liter twin-turbocharged V-6 that, despite not being a V-8, still produces enough thrust to haul six kids, their hockey gear, and the family Rottweiler up a 12-degree grade while towing a boat the size of Rhode Island. In Sport mode, there’s more than enough juice to haul this mobile storage shed through traffic. Fuel economy? Don’t ask, but I managed 12 mpg in city driving. Oil sheiks of the earth, rejoice.

Driving it is a peculiar combination of commanding and worrying. From the helm, you feel like Donald Trump in Air Force One: aloof, powerful and slightly disconnected from the peasants below. But maneuver it into a Starbucks drive-thru and suddenly you’re piloting the S.S. Nimitz. The turning circle is surprisingly tight not only considering its size but also considering it’s a Nissan. The standard drive setting returns a rather soft ride, although it’s better controlled than before, and it firms up considerably when driving in Sport mode. This ensures that while passengers may no longer get woozy, they will notice expansion joints, a subtle reminder that while our bridges are falling down and the infrastructure is crumbling, you will remain comfortable.

But you may not notice that while riding inside the 2026 Infiniti QX80 Autograph. For it does what great luxury SUVs do. It insulates, it isolates, it coddles. Yes, it’s too big, too expensive, too thirsty and too ridiculous. But that’s exactly why you want one. It’s a 7,000-pound luxury zeppelin for suburban monarchs who do it reclining in massaging leather thrones, blasting classic rock on 24 speakers, and towing a boat big enough to block the Panama Canal. The 2026 Infiniti QX80 Autograph isn’t just a car. It’s a last hurrah for the American Century, a final glass of champagne before the lights go out.

2026 Infiniti QX80 Autograph

Base price: $112,195

Engine: Twin-turbocharged 3.5-liter DOHC V6

Horsepower/Torque: 450/516 pound-feet

EPA rating (combined city/highway): 17 mpg

Fuel required: Premium unleaded

Length/Width/Height: 211/83/78 inches

Ground clearance: 10 inches

Payload: 1,455 pounds

Cargo capacity: 20-97 cubic feet

Towing capacity: 8,500 pounds

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