ArcaMax

Q: Rabbi Gellman, I read in this morning's Palm Beach Post of your request for fun stories, so I wanted to offer mine. My mother taught Sunday School at her Episcopal church in Olney, Maryland. Her students were second-graders. One Sunday they were learning/reviewing the Ten Commandments. When they got to number six, my mother said, "Now you all know what that means." One little boy's arm shot up quickly and he said, "Yes, Mrs. Addy, I know, I know. When you're no longer a child, you're an adultery." My mother said, "Next Commandment.”

I so enjoy your column in the Palm Beach Post. Thank you for your insightful articles. – (From P in Palm Beach)

A: Terrific! Now is a good time to review the different ways of counting the Ten Commandments. The issue is where the first commandment ends. Is it just “I am the Lord your God” which is clearly first but it is not a commandment. It makes more sense to make the first commandment “I am the Lord your God… and add in, “You shall have no other gods beside me…” That is a real commandment, but it causes a problem that we end up with only nine commandments. This problem can be solved by splitting the last commandment about not coveting into two commandments, one about not coveting your neighbor’s wife and the other about not coveting your neighbor’s stuff. However, that makes no sense since it is clearly one commandment.

My solution: there are only nine commandments, and we have been counting wrong all these years. If you want to bring the list back up to 10, my suggestion is to add this one, “Thou shalt never cut a line!”

Your funny story reminds me of a bunch of funny Sunday school answers to teachers’ assignment to their students to write a question for God that I have collected:

Dear God, please put another holiday between Christmas and Easter. There is nothing good in there now.

Dear God, thank you for the baby brother but what I asked for was a puppy. I never asked for anything before. You can look it up.

Dear Mr. God, I wish you would not make it so easy for people to come apart. I had to have three stitches and a shot.

God, I read the Bible. What does beget mean? Nobody will tell me.

Dear God, how did you know you were God? Who told you? – Charlene

Dear God, Is it true my father won't get in Heaven if he uses his golf words in the house?

Dear God, I bet it's very hard for you to love all of everybody in the whole world. There are only four people in our family and I can never do it.

Dear God, do you draw the lines around the countries? If you don't, who does?

Dear God, did you mean for giraffes to look like that or was it an accident?

Dear God, in Bible times, did they really talk that fancy?

Dear God, please send Dennis Clark to a different summer camp this year.

Dear God, maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they each had their own rooms. It works out OK with me and my brother Larry.

Dear God, my brother told me about how you are born but it just doesn't sound right. What do you say?

Dear God, if you watch in church on Sunday, I will show you my new shoes.

Dear God, is Reverend Coe a friend of yours, or do you just know him through the business?

Dear God, I do not think anybody could be a better God than you. Well, I just want you to know that. I am not just saying that because you are already God.

Dear God, it is great the way you always get the stars in the right place. Why can't you do that with the moon?

Dear God, I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset you made on Tuesday night. That was really cool.

And, saving the best for last:

Dear God, I am doing the best I can. Really!!!!

(Send ALL QUESTIONS AND COMMENTS to The God Squad via email at godsquadquestion@aol.com. Rabbi Gellman is the author of several books, including “Religion for Dummies,” co-written with Fr. Tom Hartman. Also, the new God Squad podcast is now available.)

©2026 The God Squad. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.

(c) 2026 THE GOD SQUAD DISTRIBUTED BY TRIBUNE MEDIA SERVICES, INC.