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Q: Thank you for your column regarding grief over the loss of a pet. First, I am so very sorry for the loss of your beloved dog. It is so difficult when you do a familiar thing, like slipping your feet under the desk expecting to find your dog there to warm them, and he/she isn't there. Heartbreaking. I recently lost my beloved cat of 19 years. She was beginning to suffer and feel pain due to a large cyst in her eye and was blind and deaf. When she could no longer find her litter box and was unsteady on her legs, we knew it was time. Buster died peacefully the day before Mother's Day. She was loving until the end; I miss her more than I can say. Your column helped release a fresh round of grief and pain. It also gave me comfort that this is all normal and part of what makes us human.

Do you think God gives us these experiences to prepare us for the loss of a spouse, child, parent, or is this just how it randomly goes? In any case, thank you for your insights. – (From C)

A: Dear C, thank you for your kind words. The purpose of my column about the death of my dog Miles was to give my readers who have lost a pet, and are feeling guilty at the intensity of grief they are feeling at the death of an animal, solace.

They often feel, as you mention, that such sorrow is only appropriate at the death of a human being. I know this is not true nor do I believe it is God’s will. What I believe from the death of Miles and what you know from the death of Buster is this … the measure of grief is the measure of love.

The more we love either an animal or person, the more we grieve at their passing. The lower the love, the lower the grief. Grief is just the price of love. I often ask mourners for a person or a pet, “If I could take away from you all the pain you feel in your heart now but the price of doing so would be that you could never have experienced the love you had for them, would you accept that price? Would you exchange no pain for no love?” Nobody I have known would take that deal. So, the consequence of this is that we should all be grateful for our grief. That grief is the surest sign that we have received and given our deepest love. Then we can understand how to truly thank the God who gives life and takes life away.

Q: In response to the person with a Jewish biological mother, raised Catholic, and professing atheism, you called out food pantries, stating that you never saw one started by atheists. While many food pantries rely on funding through religious organizations, have you never volunteered at one? My experience is being surrounded by good people, atheists included, who work hard and love deeply. I’d also like to point out that public funds voted for community pantries and other services are supported by voters who care about others, atheists included. Please don’t be so harsh in your assessments. Thank you for listening. – (From S)

A: Thank you for your sensitivity to atheists, S. I am sorry if I was too harsh in my tone. I know as you do that the good and kind volunteers at soup kitchens and food pantries are not screened for their beliefs and absolutely include many for whom faith is often a remote or unachievable goal. I was trying in the column to defend religious folk from the accusation that they are hypocrites because their charity does not match their piety. For years I have heard this canard which I believe to be grossly unfair and profoundly untrue.

It is simply and obviously true that the institutions of care and loving support in our communities are overwhelmingly built and sustained by religious folk and by religious places. Catholic Charities, for example, is always one of the highest ranked charities for their economy and effectiveness.

I am sad to say that prejudice against religious people is the last acceptable prejudice in our culture. I hope I am wrong and I pray for the day when all of us can accept and praise the good works of all our hands and all our hearts. Read Isaiah 58 and Matthew 25.

Amen.

(Send ALL QUESTIONS AND COMMENTS to The God Squad via email at godsquadquestion@aol.com. Rabbi Gellman is the author of several books, including “Religion for Dummies,” co-written with Fr. Tom Hartman. Also, the new God Squad podcast is now available.)

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