The God Squad: I don’t need God

Q: I would like your advice on how to explain to family and friends that I do not relate to or use the term “God.” The main reason is so many people use the term to mean “God” is a person. They speak of “he” or “his” or “him” as if “God” were a person, and a male person at that.

I believe that much of life is out of our personal control, and I am comfortable with knowing there are only some things I can control – for example, how I respond to others, and how I adapt to negative circumstances.

I prefer to think of the areas of my life (all lives) that are beyond my control as nature. A tornado or hurricane is out of our control. The presence of a dangerous illness in our bodies is largely out of our control (although not smoking is one action we can take to mitigate lung cancer). We try not to cause accidents, but others out there can behave recklessly -- again out of our control.

I am also uncomfortable with the comments people make, such as “It’s God’s will.” Or “There’s a reason why this terrible thing happened.” I’ve faced down major illness and now in my 80s, I know my time in life is limited. I can’t control that, and I am very grateful to the medical community for using science and skill to extend my life to this point. To me, I wasn’t saved by that “being” many people call “God.” It was simply the forces of nature and science and even good luck. All that is a good enough explanation for me. I am content with it and feel it’s enough spirituality. How would you add to this to help others understand my point of view (if that’s even possible)? -- (from anonymous).

A: Thank you, dear anonymous, for your honest and heartfelt question. Many of my readers who share your view often couch their comments and questions with unnecessary belligerence. Yours was a respectful and modest atheism.

The answer is simple: God is the way religious people express our hope that we are not alone and that death is not the end of us. Of course, we may be alone. And death may be the end of us, but faith is the way pious folk cling to beliefs that sustain us through all the bumps and bruises of life. Faith also gives religious people an object for our gratitude. We have all been showered with so many blessings, the impulse to give thanks is unquenchable in us. It is just hard to give thanks for good luck. You need an address for the thank you note.

You seem to believe that faith in God is a way of exerting some control over life. That is not true to the faith I know. God is not a bubble gum machine dispensing favors for prayers. God exists to accompany us not to randomly save us from life-threatening events. God helps us to deal with not being in control.

I would like to know, what do you mean by good luck? Is good luck just accidental good fortune? Is good luck randomly distributed? Not knowing all the reasons why we are saved from death does not mean that there are no reasons.

I believe God heals us but at times and by means we cannot completely understand. The role of God in faith is to provide a savior not to provide a consiglieri. God is not our spiritual enforcer. We get what we get and we give thanks for it to the God of our lives. What we do not get we believe will be provided for us in Heaven.

Now as I have said, none of that may be true but religious people believe it is true. I believe it is true. If you can find an object for your thankfulness; a companion when you walk through the valley of the shadow of death; a source of moral teaching that leads to human flourishing; and a hope that we will not be separated forever from those we love — if you can find all of that in the phrase “good luck” then good luck to you. But if you find in your quiet and reflective moments that it makes no sense to believe that we are just a pile of genetic goo and that what you call good luck is actually a web of blessings that have enveloped your life from the very beginning then …God bless you.

(Send ALL QUESTIONS AND COMMENTS to The God Squad via email at godsquadquestion@aol.com. Rabbi Gellman is the author of several books, including “Religion for Dummies,” co-written with Fr. Tom Hartman. Also, the new God Squad podcast is now available.)