Life Advice
/Health
Honesty Always Wins -- Even When It Hurts
Dear Annie: About 25 years ago, my dental hygienist may have been thinking the same thoughts as "Wishing I Could Talk to Him," the woman whose husband has bad breath, while she talked about my teeth rather than telling me the truth -- namely, that she was smelling the rotting bacteria that gave me very offensive breath. Had she been upfront ...Read more
Deeply Annoyed by Dogs
Dear Annie: Let me preface this by saying that I am an animal lover, and I like dogs and cats. I grew up with dogs, but as an adult, I have become more of a cat person. While I enjoy dogs enough, my husband and I have talked about how dog ownership is a lot of responsibility and, at this point in our lives, we choose just to have cats.
My ...Read more
Sons Are Repeating Father's Abusive Patterns
Dear Annie: I will try to tell you a short version. I was married twice and had kids with both men. You could say my "picker" for men was or is broken. Anyway, I ended up leaving both men. Both were mentally abusive; one was also physically abusive. I took the kids with me.
Well, it didn't take long for both men to start "buying" my kids, and...Read more
Never Enough for the In-Laws
Dear Annie: My husband and I welcomed our first child in March. My husband is a child of divorce and has a mother with a long history of narcissistic behaviors. Both of his families and my family live two hours from where we live.
We have run into a problem in which grandparents want to see our son frequently. My husband and I work full time,...Read more
Droning Co-worker
Dear Annie: I have a co-worker who, for many reasons, drives me up the wall. "Lana" is older than I am by at least 35 years and sits across from me at work. This would be fine, except she will not stop talking. No matter how little interest I show or how many times I say "You told me this before," she will natter on and on and on.
She talks ...Read more
Some Decisions You Must Make for Yourself
Dear Annie: I recently turned 40 and am still speculating if I would like to have a kid or not. My husband is 46, and we have been married for a year and a half now.
Both of us are pretty much on the same side. We love the freedom of our current lifestyle. Whenever I would see family or friends with kids, it's like the kids dominate the lives...Read more
Give Yourself the Gift of Forgiveness
Dear Annie: My husband was out of town traveling for business during our first anniversary. So I thought it would be romantic if I met him where he was staying in Washington, D.C. That way, we wouldn't spend our first anniversary apart. I drove 13 hours straight from work to make this happen. I stayed for three days, and we had a great time. ...Read more
In-Laws Unevenly Dividing Time
Dear Annie: My sister-in-law has lived with my in-laws for four years. When she and her then-infant moved in, it was an emergency situation -- leaving an abusive relationship. However, she does not seem to have plans or ambitions to move out.
My husband's parents (in their 70s with health concerns) watch her child (now 4) every day while she ...Read more
Cutting Ties With My Hairdresser
Dear Annie: I don't know how to break up with my hairdresser. I have been going to him for five years and my hair has never looked better. However, during the past year or so, things have changed, and I am no longer happy with his service.
It started when he sold me the wrong conditioner, which I didn't realize until I got home, and he wouldn...Read more
Struggling to Trust My Daughter's Father
Dear Annie: I've noticed that in many of your responses, you recommended seeking marriage counseling. I wanted to tell you that people in abusive relationships should not get couples counseling together, as there is a power imbalance and abusers can use therapy against the abused partner. If the therapist is not aware of the abuse, the whole ...Read more
Extended Family Is Too Close for Comfort
Dear Annie: I am currently married with no kids. I travel a lot for work and vacation. The issue is my wife's sister, her husband and their kids. Three years ago, my wife and I allowed them to move into our home because their living situation was not great. They shared a small apartment that was overrun with rats and cockroaches. We told them ...Read more
Boyfriend's Needs Have Changed After 13 Years
Dear Annie: After 13 years, my boyfriend (he's 49, and I'm 57) literally ghosted me for a whole week directly following a birthday party with the family at my parents' house. There was no explanation why.
We've had our ups and downs, as I was seriously injured and emerged with a partially paralyzed right leg in 2018. I've regained most of my ...Read more
Wife Leaves Without a Word
Dear Annie: So I have one for you. I was out of town working, and when I got home, my wife was gone! We were having some marriage problems but were supposed to see a therapist after I returned home. I'll say it again: When I did get home, she was gone!
She packed her stuff and left me and our dog all alone. I tried to call and text with no ...Read more
Is Parents' Dating Advice Suitable for 2023?
Dear Annie: I've recently entered a dating relationship, and my parents have a renewed interest in talking with me about my dating life. My parents are happily married and have modeled what a great companionship is supposed to look like. I know that when they give me dating advice, they have my best interest in mind. But recently, this advice ...Read more
Husband Kicks Off Retirement Without Me
Dear Annie: My recently retired husband of 43 years has agreed to take a 10-day trip with his sisters. He will be off seeing the Caribbean as I go to work each day back home. He agreed to this trip, and now I find out he will be sharing a bed with his oldest sister, who paid for the trip as a gift to her siblings.
I am not sure how I feel ...Read more
Annoyed by Incessant Chatter
Dear Annie: My mother gave up my half-sister at birth. I became close to my sister and her family beginning in my 30s when she found me. I'm almost 60 now. Her family was not fond of my mother, and my sister wanted to distance herself to follow her adoptive parents' wishes.
Unfortunately, my sister passed away at a young age from cancer, as ...Read more
Funeral Etiquette
Dear Annie: A prominent man in my church died this past week, and his funeral was yesterday. When the church sent out an email blast to the membership announcing his passing, it gave the date and time of the funeral, along with burial information to follow at the church cemetery.
Shortly after getting this email, two days prior to the funeral...Read more
Girlfriend Doesn't Get Along With My Kids
Dear Annie: I'm a father in his 40s who has been single-parenting two kids (one preteen, one teen) for a bit under a decade now. When I began dating again, I didn't realize how difficult it would be to navigate a long-term relationship when you already have young children from a prior one.
Eventually, I met a lovely single lady who doesn't ...Read more
Change Will Freshen Up Longtime Marriage
Dear Annie: Your answer to "Not Dog Tired Anymore" was great from the human point of view, but not so much from the animals'. I'm an animal behavior consultant and have seen problems arise from inconsistencies such as these. Like children, pets need to have a sense of security about their routines so they can predict their future. Any time we ...Read more