ArcaMax

Dear Disappointed: You helped substantially with the purchase of this home, but you don’t seem to actually own this separate unit, and so this whole arrangement is riding on an understanding.

Your daughter is not respecting the original intent or the impact on you, but if she doesn’t respect your wishes and sensitivities after discussing this several times, the issue reveals how she and her husband regard you.

You are not “wrong” to expect exclusive use of this guesthouse, but you should realize that going to the mat over this could affect your relationship in the longer term.

If both parties agree that this is “your” unit, you could install a lock with a changeable code; if they would like to borrow the unit for guests, they would have to contact you for the code. This would at least put you in charge of access to the unit.

Dear Amy: I am 20 and my girlfriend of six months is 19.

Ever since we started dating, she seems to go out of her way to tell me whenever a guy hits on her, compliments her, or flirts with her.

She’s gorgeous and so I totally understand that this is going to happen.

I completely trust her, but when we started going out I told her that I don’t really need to hear about every time a guy compliments her. I told her that I know these things happen, but that I don’t need to hear about it.

Finally, I flat-out asked her to stop reporting these things to me.

Yesterday she was headed to her friend’s house and told me that her friend’s brother has a crush on her.

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