Ask Amy: Long-ago love wants to visit ill friend
Dear Amy: Twenty years ago, “Sadie” and I divorced after 12 years of marriage and two children.
Sadie developed a cocaine habit, which destroyed our finances and threw us into debt. She also had a string of affairs and then divorced me.
After the divorce, while I was in shock, “Deana,” a coworker, asked me out. Deana and I had an affair that lasted for several months.
Although she was a wonderful woman, and I was falling for her, I was not ready. I broke it off and left the company for another job.
After five years taking care of my children, I remarried. Deana married at about the same time. Her husband is a terrific man who adores her.
Now I hear that Deana, who lives in another state, is in an assisted-care facility with MS and in declining health.
Although the timing was not right for Deana and me after my divorce, I have always retained – but have not acted on – my admiration and affection for her.
I would like to fly out to see Deana before she passes, but I think it would be inappropriate to do so.
I sent a holiday card to her and her husband, expressing my sympathy for her illness.
Should I leave it at that?
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