Ask Amy: Long-ago love wants to visit ill friend
– K
Dear K: If you think it would be inappropriate to get on a plane to visit this long-ago inamorata, then carefully examine your motives, and decide not to do it.
“Deana’s” illness has not robbed her of her memories or relationships. Aside from your recent contact, you don’t seem to have maintained a friendship with her.
Years ago, after she pursued you and you two engaged in a relationship, you broke up with her and left.
My point is that she might not have lingering fond memories of you and might not want to see you. And feeling sorry for her or closing the circle on your own unresolved feelings for her would not be the best reason to connect now.
Before hopping on a plane, you should at the very least contact her and ask if she would like for you to visit.
Dear Amy: I have a teenage son, “Theo,” from a previous marriage. Theo lived primarily with me and my second wife, “Margaret.”
Theo and I had an extraordinarily strong relationship.
Margaret passed away three months ago. Then Theo moved back in with his biological mother without much of an explanation.
Everyone tells me that he's grieving and that I need to give him time. I think it's time to confront him about his choice to move back in with his mother, because I think the real reason he moved in with her is that life is just easier for him without guidelines.
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