Life Advice



Ask Amy: Morning grouch struggles with perky mom

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Should we divide our estate equally among all the kids?

– Susan from Idaho

Dear Susan: How you divide your estate should be entirely up to you. Presumably your newly discovered biological daughter has parents who raised her well, who love her, and who will perhaps provide for her in their wills.

You and your husband have raised three children to adulthood. You are their only parents.

Your daughter’s adoptive parents’ estate planning will reflect their lifelong relationship with their child, and yours should reflect your lifelong histories with the children you’ve raised.

You don’t mention having met your biological daughter in person, yet (after her birth), and so, if possible, you should table this question until you have more of a present-day relationship with her.

Discuss this and any other estate-planning questions with a lawyer, who can review the legal options and consequences of your choice.

Dear Amy: My husband and I were very moved by your response to the “Concerned Parents” who were worried that their bright, beautiful, high-achieving daughter struggled with self-esteem.


As the parents of a daughter with these same characteristics, we appreciate you pointing out that, “Being beautiful, popular, smart, and high-achieving does not inoculate anyone against depression, anxiety, a mood disorder or crushing doubt.”

This insight has helped our family. Thank you.

– Grateful Parents

Dear Grateful: I hope you all move forward in good health.


(You can email Amy Dickinson at or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)

©2023 Amy Dickinson. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.




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