Ask Amy: A large family has divided loyalties
The trust has been lost for a few, and doesn't appear to be recoverable.
Is it OK to not want a relationship with a sibling if you believe that person has betrayed you?
– Divided Family
Dear Divided: You are an adult and you have the right to have – or not have – a relationship with anyone, including various family members.
You are focused on the wrongs done to you and your sibling group (and for very good reasons). Regarding this important betrayal, no apologies have been offered. However, it’s important to understand that unless you come together as a family in some form or fashion, you will miss the opportunity to ask for and perhaps receive the apology you seek.
In short, if you don’t have a relationship of any kind, you will never have even the slightest chance of receiving an explanation, apology, or reconciliation.
Dear Amy: My brother has been incarcerated for several years for drug offenses. This has been extremely painful for our entire family, but I love him and try to keep in touch with him.
My wife and I have two children, ages three and five. They are starting to understand various family ties and recently saw a picture of me and my brother from childhood. They have started asking about him, and my wife and I are wondering what to say.
Do you have suggestions?
– Loving Dad
...continued
