Ask Amy: The trouble with Mother’s (and Father’s) Day
Surely, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day are the most awkward days of the year.
The very structure of these days is confounding, leading to lots of questions:
If we’re parents, are we only supposed to celebrate our own parents? What about grandparents?
What is expected of stepchildren who have multiple parents?
Is it OK to spend Mother’s Day crying in your car, as you grieve the loss of a child – or your own mother?
Are women who aren’t parents supposed to correct store clerks who wish them a “Happy Mother’s Day,” or should they just accept their carnation quietly and endeavor to avoid all human and online contact on that day?
Are boorish partners who can’t be bothered to utter a three-word phrase really supposed to get a pass by hiding behind this whole, “You’re not my mother” nonsense?
If children don’t contact parents on this day, how bad are parents permitted to feel, and if you do feel bad, should you diminish your own feelings as being embarrassing, unimportant, and “self-centered?”
In my view, your husband is a lost cause in this regard. He is willfully handing you something he knows you’ll feel bad about. Nice.
You should prompt your children: “Hey, heads up. You might think it’s lame or unimportant, but a text or a call on Mother’s Day would make me very happy.”
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