Ask Amy: Girlfriend’s behavior stalls a proposal
I’m fine with this. I believe she is getting good care, but my husband thinks I should be at the hospital with her at all times.
I’m torn and want to do the right thing.
– Dutiful Daughter
Dear Daughter: It’s important that your mother has an advocate who has an awareness of her treatment and can communicate about medical care and options with her. It also makes a difference to her care team if they know that she has an advocate with an active presence.
I suggest letting her know that you will visit her every day at the same time (for her comfort), and then also show up at unanticipated times – to pop your head in, say hello and stay longer if she wants – and confer with her care team. It’s important to stay in the loop, but if your mother wants rest and privacy, then you should respect her wishes. (Waiting rooms are good places to keep vigil without disrupting the patient.)
Dear Amy: I was so annoyed by your response to “Annoyed!” Her brother-in-law was using his deceased parents’ disabled parking permit. This is outrageous, illegal, and unfair, and she should nab him.
– Annoyed With You
Dear Annoyed: Many readers responded similarly. “Annoyed!” wanted her husband to break into the car to remove the permit and he’d refused; my response focused on my opinion that this was a bad idea. As I said in my response, using someone else’s permit is unacceptable and subject to a fine.
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(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
©2023 Amy Dickinson. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.
