Ask Amy: Girlfriend’s behavior stalls a proposal
Am I the insecure one? Does her moral compass need some calibration?
This problem keeps me up at night.
– Confounded
Dear Confounded: Loving relationships are often a dance. You support and prop up one another, address conflicts, admit and apologize when you’re wrong, and talk things through when your actions have triggered your partner’s sensitivities.
“Cheryl’s” relationship with this man bothers you. She has responded by making sure to tell you that he made a pass at her, then dodging, and then lying.
She might have responded, “Your insecurities are unfounded. I have a right to have the friends I want to have, and if you are so worried about this guy, you should come along and meet him, yourself.”
Instead, she slid past you and your therapist with what sounds like a version of “I don’t know why I like this guy, but I DO know that I don’t care how this makes you feel.”
You should take a close look at her willingness (or ability) to dive into her own feelings, to explain herself cogently, and to push back when she has a position to defend. In these important ways, she sounds like a coward.
Dear Amy: My mother is in the hospital for treatment – she will be there for about a week.
My mother is a wonderful woman who has been living on her own for many years. She told me that she doesn't want me constantly at her bedside while she is in the hospital. She actually said that it feels like I’m “keeping vigil” and she wants more privacy.
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