Ask Amy: A man’s choice to use a slur riles the family

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on Apr 21, 2023

Dear Amy: My wife and I were together for seven years and married for 16 months before I realized that she had been having an affair with a mentee that became a friend for several months.

She went from wanting to work on our marriage to wanting space to decide what she wants.

I moved out and she kept seeing the other girl.

She recently said that things feel different between us. She wants to be OK and not be responsible for hurting people, so she thinks that the book is closing on the marriage.

I have not spoken to her since, but she recently texted, saying, “I'm thinking of you, but I’m not sure if you want me to text. Should I text you?”

How should I even respond? The last few months have been nothing but talk, and I’m sick of it.

– Self Respect

Dear Self Respect: I have great news for you. YOU are now in charge of this relationship – or what’s left of it.

In my opinion, your response to your wife’s query should be – no response at all. Let her continue to “find herself” while listening to … crickets.

It’s time to focus on your own health and healing. See a lawyer and a counselor.

Dear Amy: “Wanting Some Friends” was a young mom who wanted to make friends for herself and her kids. She should visit churches, synagogues, or mosques in her area to make friends.

– Church Family Donna

Dear Donna: In my (extensive) experience, it can take a very long time to make friends through houses of worship, while meeting families at a playground or library promotes almost instant bonding.

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(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)