ArcaMax

While I do understand that graduation is an important milestone for some, it isn’t in my case: I will go on to undergrad in the same town with many of the same people from my high school.

I really do not want my reluctance to go to the graduation ceremony to escalate this into “a thing” and cause more conflict.

Am I being petulant? Should I stick to my guns, or just suck it up?

– Ungrateful Grad

Dear Ungrateful: When given the choice, I always vote for “stick to your guns” – unless the other choice is to “suck it up,” when doing so is a possibility of a relatively brief duration.

I understand and respect your choice over the years to skip events that you know you wouldn’t enjoy. Legions of students and former students would agree with you.

However, at this juncture, one thing to keep in mind is that graduation is not for you; it’s for your parents. They don’t care about prom, games, and school plays. They might care very much about graduation.

One way to avoid the dreaded “thing” is to know your own mind and to calmly accept the “thing” related consequences that might flow from your choice. Sit down with your parents and gauge how much they care about this one event.

If you perceive that they do care, then decide: Are you able to give your folks this little gift? If so, then throw on a cap and gown and walk the walk.

If not, perhaps you could offer your folks a compromise and find another significant way to mark the occasion that you can enjoy as a family. They want to congratulate you – and I hope you’ll let them.

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