Ask Amy: Needy teacher must learn how to read people
Do you think she has a problem with us getting married? Or do you think she has a problem with me?
– Concerned Bride/Bride-to-Be
Dear Concerned: Every time I shake my “Magic 8 Ball,” the reply is, “Outlook uncertain.”
The way you describe this relationship, you are obviously insecure about it. Perhaps you don’t know your husband’s sister very well, or you’ve had limited or negative interactions with her.
My suggestions are pointed toward trying to establish a positive relationship moving forward.
Consider asking her advice regarding an aspect of the wedding planning. If appropriate, you might offer her a role in the wedding itself.
If she responds to your bids rudely, coldly, or not at all – then you should assume that she has a problem either with you, with her brother, or with the larger world around her.
If you’ve done nothing to inspire her behavior, then don’t take it personally!
I realize this is easy for me to say and very hard for you to do, but if you are able to use this experience to acquire the extremely important skill of not taking things personally, then I’d say that this would be your sister-in-law’s lasting and valuable wedding gift to you.
Dear Amy: “Underappreciated” related the pain and pressure of having grandparents who openly favored two cousins over him.
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