Ask Amy: Holiday visit leads to weighty conflict
What do you think I should do?
– Weighty Issue
Dear Weighty: Your sister doesn’t hesitate to “weigh in” (excuse the pun) on your situation in a very frank way, and so I suggest that it’s time for you to respond in a way that conveys your deep concern over her behavior – as well as the consequences that will result if she refuses to alter her behavior.
You should send her an email. Thank her for hosting you over the holidays. Tell her, “Unfortunately, your ongoing obsession with my weight makes it impossible for me to relate to you in the way I would like. You have totally crossed the line. From now on, this topic is off the table.”
She may respond defensively – or double down by stating that she is just worried about you. You will then have to decide how to move forward: whether you believe your sister is capable of restraint, or whether it is healthier for you to keep your distance.
Dear Amy: I'm torn on how to approach the topic of my husband's poor health with him. He has gained significant weight, is developing medical issues, and is constantly unhappy with his appearance.
He attributes being unable to exercise to back pain, which is very overwhelming for him.
I do my best to ease what pain I can with massage, but he needs to see a physical therapist as well as a primary care doctor to even begin to undo the damage that his unhealthy habits have caused.
It's so hard to get him to see a doctor, or even make an appointment, and his issues require a lot from me to help him manage them.
How can I convince him that now is the time to make an appointment, even if he doesn't feel like it?
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