Ask Amy: Sequestered friend sends email polemics
What can I say to her?
– Exhausted
Dear Exhausted: If merely learning someone else’s views ruins your holiday, then you should re-examine your holiday.
Your friend’s views about Thanksgiving aren’t particularly “out there,” but are the result of a culture-wide reassessment of public monuments and the backstory of some holidays. Many Americans are grappling with these issues.
There is no question that the global pandemic has completely altered the way many of us live. The illness itself, the trauma of loss, the enforced isolation, the risk to those with underlying health problems, and now the fear of further illness has inspired many people to withdraw.
Years of anxiety have affected mental health. Isolation has inspired people to connect and share their views on social media or via email.
You have the ability and the right to push back and express how you feel about her demand that you must think the way she thinks.
You could ask your friend to keep in touch, but not to send you polemics. Or you could assign emails from her to a special folder, where you can read them during times when you won’t be triggered by the views they contain.
If you believe she is lonely and you would like to try to help, you could be more proactive in terms of your own contact with her.
Dear Amy: Your question from “Anguished Aunt” got my attention.
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