ArcaMax

All of a sudden, Hank hit me with, “I have a girlfriend, so I don’t want to give the wrong impression.” I was so thrown off, I deleted his number and blocked him.

He’s totally different now. He’s not talking to me much, he’s very short with me in passing, but he seems to have taken a liking to my coworker, who sits directly next to me.

They have conversations like he and I did, and she’s told me she is starting to like him.

I’ve told her to “go for it,” but in reality, I just want to die when she talks about it.

I hate how jealous he makes me when he talks to her, and I hate how I still like the guy, but I don’t have many options except to just sit there and take the abuse. I usually leave when he comes around, but it’s almost like he makes it his business to talk sweetly to her right in front of me knowing that he JUST rejected me weeks ago.

It’s like he’s trying to torture me. Or maybe I’m overthinking it and need a new job? What should I do? This is messing with my head.

– Dying at Work

Dear Dying: First of all, you’ve done nothing wrong. You were assertive and authentic when you followed through on “Hank’s” flirtation. He then let you down by offering what I would call a “soft pass,” using the reason (true or not) that he has a girlfriend.

And just as you’ve done nothing wrong, he really hasn’t, either. His chill toward you might be because you’ve blocked his number.

Hank may be the office flirt, moving through the cubicle farm like a summer wind, gathering phone numbers as he goes.

...continued