Ask Amy: Sibling struggles can lead toward estrangement
You should convey to all of your children (through your actions or words): “We will continue to host events at home. As in the past, everyone in the family is always invited and welcome. Come, don’t come, it’s up to you. But I will not attend multiple events because my children have decided to prolong an argument that should have been settled long ago.”
Dear Amy: I am blessed with two beautiful and sweet daughters. Both are college graduates living on their own in long-term relationships.
My daughters have chosen two very different career paths – one makes VERY good money, while her sister struggles to pay monthly bills.
Is it OK to help the struggling daughter?
Will the other daughter feel slighted?
I don't want to cause any issues.
– Potential Bank Mom
Dear Mom: Yes, it is OK to help your struggling daughter. Being in a financial bind is extremely stressful; help can give someone room to breathe, as well as a fresh start. Unfortunately, however, repeated bailouts could interrupt her progress.
Your needier daughter might need to check her spending, get a different job (or choose another partner) in order to live within her means.
If you help one daughter, the other daughter might feel slighted, but there’s a lesson there for her, too: Life isn’t always fair.
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