Ask Amy: Sibling has extreme wedding attendant anxiety
How can I say this so no feelings are hurt?
– Too Shy
Dear Too Shy: It was kind of your sibling to include you in their wedding party.
You’ve probably been to weddings, and so you know that when you are in the wedding party, you are up there with others – and the focus is mainly on the couple who are getting married.
All the same, attendants are definitely on stage, and the idea of this is triggering a lot of anxiety for you. You should be honest in your response.
I assume that your sibling might anticipate that this would be challenging for you. So respond (sooner rather than later): “I am really honored that you asked me to stand up with you! But I’m really worried about doing that, so I hope it’s OK if I cheer you on from the sidelines. I think that’s the most I can do.”
Ask if there are other ways you can be helpful during the planning process.
In terms of your own wedding, you should not combine these two conversations. You have every right to design and enjoy your own wedding in whatever way you choose, but you should do your best to separate the two events.
Dear Amy: For decades I did my own taxes, until a couple years ago when we got audited.
After that, I found a local firm to handle our personal income taxes.
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