Ask Amy: Introverted person worried about friendships
Your statement reveals an assumption that “all” of your friends have friends they are closer to than they are to you.
We humans tend to assume that others are doing better than we are, or that others do not struggle in ways that we struggle. This belief seems to go back to the playground, where exclusion becomes noticeable and hurtful, and where many of us develop the uncomfortable perception that we are onlookers.
This is underscored in adulthood by photos posted on social media showing happy, shiny people.
My first suggestion is that you do what you can to improve the connection with the friends you currently have. This would involve you being more actively in touch.
Even making a phone call can be hard for introverts, but if some social outreach, through a call or a text, becomes part of your daily “self-care,” some of these connections should strengthen.
These “check-ins” are a reminder to others that you are here, and that you are interested in them.
This might be especially important to those friends who are still somewhat sequestered.
Also, while you are making these personal efforts, do everything you can to stay busy. “Staying busy” sometimes seems like a ride on an empty hamster wheel, but those glancing connections with others can yield very satisfying moments, and an important sense of proportion and perspective.
Dear Amy: I am a physical therapist, and work in a building with others who do the same.
I have my own office space. I used to rent it to a friend, who recently moved to another space on my floor when a room opened up.
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