Ask Amy: Maid of Honor doesn’t say yes to the dress
Was I so wrong in picking a different maid of honor? Or should I have just sucked it up and dealt with Hannah’s problematic schedule?
Should I continue to try to repair this?
– Still Bothered
Dear Bothered: You both blew it.
From your account, “Hannah” was helpful in exuberantly partnering with you to plan this wedding quickly.
Must a maid of honor accompany the bride to shop for dresses? No.
If Hannah had a specific reason for wanting to skip this task, she should have told you (rather than dodging), but rather than demoting her, you could have simply told her that due to your own schedule, you were going to try to get another person to go dress shopping with you. So yes, you should have sucked it up.
Your choice to judge her for having “no real reason to be unavailable” is unfortunate.
No MOH who has already committed to the role will value being demoted.
You slighted her, and Hannah has overreacted. Taking this feud to the next generation is unkind.
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